As of April 2017, The Workbook Project has bloomed into 29 Project, a radical happiness experiment.
Kalyn here. I’ll be publishing a blog (ish) a day leading up to my 30th birthday – that’s 365 potential stories and life lessons to share! 29 Project will be real time documentation of what it’s like to live a wildly productive, explosively happy, shockingly honest twenty something existence.
The Secret to Multiple Orgasms
So I’m sitting on a paddleboard last night (eeevvvery story should start off with this scenario, right?) with a friend in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico, looking out onto the horizon in total silence. Breathing in the salty air with gratitude, I took a moment to close my eyes and soak it all in, as goosebumps ran up and down my spine. If that’s not being present in the moment, I don’t know what goddamn is.
I dated a guy a few years back who would drag me to the beach all the time (like, drag, because I never wanted to go). We’d lay a blanket down side by side and he would just gaze at the water, or up at the stars after a sunset with a gentle smile on his face. It used to bug the fuuucckk out of me. I’d sit there tense, agitated and about to explode (I think the formal word for this collection of feelings is “anxiety”) because I couldn’t wrap my head around why he loved to torture me. I mean, why were we so still, what was the point of it all? What an asshole.
There’s a concept called bliss, that was entirely foreign to me for a long time. I was in a workshop a few weeks back and one of my classmates professed to hating that word. “It’s like moist, it grosses me out.” I get it. It’s an intense word. It’s an intimate word. It makes people uncomfortable, I think, because it’s not meant to be said. It’s meant to be felt.
Bliss is a feeling. It’s a higher state of being. It’s that tingle in your heart when you’re totally still. It’s that surge of emotion when you’re exhilarated. It’s the state where you’re calm and energized at the same time. It’s the sensation of being fully alive and present in a moment. It’s a life orgasm. It’s an actual orgasm. It’s complete and perfect ecstasy.
By now you’re probably wondering about the secret to multiple orgasms? I’m not a sex guru or a sage or a spirit guide. I’m a regular human, who’s created a habit of accessing deeper emotions. By letting go and letting in, I’m able to feel beyond the surface, uncovering another level. The secret? Go deeper.
1. Breathe in. Close your eyes and take a heaping breath through through your nose. Feel your chest inflate with air. You’re big and brimming, almost like a male bird puffing up to attract a mate. Pause at the top of your breath and and slowly, with grace and ease, deflate your chest through your nose, letting the air out in a count backwards from 10.
2. Let go. Try this breath again, except this time, take it deeper. Breathe in big and slow through your nose. Pause. On the exhale, feel your muscles melt in slow motion as you let the air out. Allow your body to round and collapse like a rag doll. Let everything go as your breathe out.
3. Let in. Tap into inner ecstasy with each new breath. Feel gratitude, feel joy, feel big, feel love, feel excitement, feel total relaxation. Feel real time, raw, uncensored feelings as you tune into your body. That, my friends, is going to feel suuuper sexy.
You know that feeling of warm coffee on the back of your throat (or tea, if you prefer)? It’s sensual, isn’t it? But, only if you pay attention to it. Otherwise, it’s just coffee. That’s bliss. That’s the secret to multiple orgasms – in bed or in life. Breathe in, let go, let in.
Bliss, ecstasy, orgasm, flow, radical happiness, whatever you want to call it, is accessible when you flip the switch. A sunset becomes an orange shower of light enveloping the sky. A movement becomes a feral dance, flowing and wildly liberating. A touch becomes a full body high. Tiny things become miraculous, pulsing with intensity and life. The world becomes quiet and ablaze at the same time.
Orgasm happens, when you’re able to be so deeply connected to the moment you’re in, that nothing else matters. Life is full of opportunities to find your bliss. Seize them, baby, seize them!